The Fourth Set

According to the dating site OKCupid, beer drinkers are more likely to have sex on a first date. The reason for this: Supreme intelligence.

Charlie Sheen is very eager to return to work sayi8ng, "Check it, it's like, I heal really quickly, but I unravel really quickly, so get me right now guys," he said as he unraveled with a nice fat line off a hookers asshole

Charlie Sheen has recently suggested that people should avoid crack cocaine UNLESS you can manage it socially. He said if you CAN manage it socially, I would definitely pursue it.

Charlie Sheen has recently suggested that people should avoid crack cocaine UNLESS you can manage it socially. He also said he avoids hookers and pornstars UNLESS they have coacine all over their backs.

The World Health Organization reports that in 2005 6.1 Liters of pure alcohol wer consumed per person. Which makes 2005 the Charlie Sheen of the last decade.

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have launched a new Christian TV ministry. They're calling it "Cokies for Christ."

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have launched a new Christian TV ministry. She said, "We were leading degrading lives before we found Christ and dedicated our lives to him," as he showed up to court in a clown suit.

President Obama has stated that he wants to have an "adult conversation" between parties about his 2011 budget. Senate Minority leade Mitch McConnell responded by saying, "bowchica-wow-wow!"

Bernie Madoff said from his prison cell that the banks had to have known he was operating a ponzi scheme. But Madoff supposed that they couldn't hear him scream it over the sound of all that burning cash.

Taxpayers paid $450,000 for an F-18 fly-over of a closed Super Bowl stadium roof. And I can see where they are coming from because they are also paying trillions of dollars for a couple of wars that they won't ever even get on DVD.

The guitar hero series of video games has come to an end and Slash, formerly of Guns N Roses said that it was inevitable. He said, "Sooner or later everyone's going to figure out that it's not even a real instrument."